I wan bi President - A Poem by Ezenwa-Ohaeto

 
E get one dream Wey dey worry me I don dream am tire,
If I sleep small Na di dream go come If I close eye small Na di dream go come If I siddon for chair say make I rest small Na di dream go come I think say na malaria dey come,

For night when I lie for bed When hunger dey blow me When I never see food chop When I never see water drink Na di dream go come,
E get one dream wey dey worry me Di dream bi say I wan bi President,
I never see President hungry I never see President thirsty President no go worry for road Police no go stop am for checking President no go worry for house Na government cook dey make food Na government driver dey drive motor Na him make I wan bi President President dey go where e Re President dey do wetin e like if President wan travel Na siren dey clear road param. param piroo piroo Every car go run comot for road too Na President dey pass for road,
Dem go close di road Dem go close even air too Dem go take one car carry am Dem go take another one dey follow All dem vehicle tyre dey new All dem vehicle engine dey new Di seat go clean well well Na President get country
I never see President walk ten mile If e wan go give person message, I never see President begin cry If e no see motor wey go carry-am I never see President push truck From morning reach night Even if e no find ten kobo chop,
I never see President go farm With hoe wey don spoil finish De day e dey plant crop for farm Na him make I wan be President,
if you see President him servant Dem body dey fat well well if you see President him wife She go dey smile as e dey happy If you see President him children Na guard go dey follow dem Na special treatment dem go get
Na'im make I wan bi President,
President dey different different sha! Some president dem dey Wey no dey win election Some president dem dey Wey no dey lose election Some president dem dey Wey dey rule forever,
President dey different different sha! Some President dem dey Wey no dey win election Some President dem dey Wey no dey lose election Some President dem dey Wey dey rule forever,
President dey different different Some President dem dey Wey dey make ideology Dey look Like person wey no see food chop Some president dem dey Wey dey worry make dem country better You go see suffer for dem face Some President dem dey Wey dey kill person like dem bi flies If you frown face na firing squad If you say you no see food chop Na bullet you go see chop one time Some president dem dey Wey don fat like person we dey for fattening room President dey different different
If President go oversea Na for red carpet e go walk Na so so salute dem go dey make Na special aeroplane go carry am Na for best hotel e go sleep Dem fit give am special woman sef for night President fit take cocaine travel too E fit carry heroin dey go E fit bring hemp return Dem no dey search President, I wan bi President like Russia dem own If him sneeze every country go begin cry I wan be President like America dem own If him cough every country go begin weep,
I wan be President If I wan marry beautiful wife I go order make she come If I wan chop better food I go order make dem go bring am If I wan girlfriend sef Na so I go send driver for evening,
I wan bi President For work no go dey trouble me I go dey make enjoyment as I like Person go write my speech Person go drive di car I fit send person sef make e go read am,
I wan bi President If food no dey market I no worry If dem say price don rise I no go worry If salary no come on time I no go worry If petrol dey cost too much I no go worry If sanitation exercise dey I no go worry If na religion trouble dey I no go worry
I wan bi President Make people enjoy too Wetin bi federal character Every industry go dey there Wetin bi disadvantaged area Every appointment go go there Wetin bi geographical spread every promotion go bi for dem. Federal character na for person wey no get broda,
I wan bi President We dem go dey praise Every street 4 go carry my name I go rename all university for di country All di town go carry my name
'if dem publish newspaper or magazine Wey curse me even small Na bomb I go take teach dem lesson
If I dey pass for road Every person go stand dey wave
I wan bi President Make I get plenty titles Dem go call me de Excellency I go bi Cornmander-in-Chief I fit bi Field Marshall and Admiral I go bi Lion of de Niger I go answer Grand Commander of di Nation Dem go address me as snake wey get forest,
My broda. I wan bi President Even for my Papa House
But na dream I dey dream.
About the poet: Ezenwa-Ohaeto was a Nigerian poet and scholar. He was one of the first Nigerians to publish poems written in pidgin English and wrote an acclaimed biography of Chinua Achebe. His honors include a BBC Arts and Africa Poetry Award and the Association of Nigerian Authors’ Cadbury Poetry Award. He died in 2005.