A Nigerian Guide to Shakespearian Insults
Today is not only World Book and Copyright Day but also the birth (and death) day of William Shakespeare, arguable the most famous English-language writer of all time. Born in 1564 in the town of Stratford-upon-Avon, he would write in the course of his lifetime thirty-eight plays and over a hundred and fifty poems, work as an actor, launch his own theatre company (and construct a theatre for the performance of his work) and enjoy the patronage of royalty. Since his death in 1616, he has been the source of much contentious debate among literature scholars who argue over everything from what he looked like (earring or no earring?) to whether he really wrote all of the works attributed to him. But his impact on the evolution of English cannot be denied. Shakespeare is known for his romantic lines and the many words and phrases he added to the dictionary, but did you know that he also loved a good insult? In another life, he could have been a green-white-green flag-carrying Nigerian. Below is a list of some of his finest yabs (with contemporary Nigerian updates you can use in case someone tries to get too familiar on the BRT):
“I do desire we may be better strangers.” - As You Like It Pidgin: “Guy, na by force to be padi?” “They lie deadly that tell you you have good faces.” - Coriolanus Pidgin: “Dem tell you say you fine, na wash.” “The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes.” - Coriolanus Pidgin: “De guy face bitter pass kola nut.” “They were devils incarnate.” - Henry V [Can probably be used verbatim.] “You are a tedious fool.” - Measure for Measure Pidgin: “Dis your yan no get end?” Thou art like a toad; ugly and venemous. – As You Like It Pidgin: “See as you just be like monkey.” “Methink’st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.” – All’s Well That Ends Well Pidgin: “Guy, you na error. If you no commot for here we go scatter your teeth finish." “That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?” – Henry IV [Um, not quite sure what this one means. But it sounds quite harsh, so save it for the rudest of the rude bus conductors.] “Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage.” - As You Like It Pidgin: “See dis akpako.” “You are as a candle, the better burnt out.” - Henry IV Pidgin: “See as your face resemble candle wey don burn, ekpa! “Thou art as fat as butter.” - Henry IV Pidgin: “O boy, why you come fat like bread wey fall inside water?” “You should be women, and yet your beards forbid me to interpret that you are so.” – Macbeth Pidgin: “Dis your beard-beard – na man you be, abi na woman?” Also check out this great video from TED breaking down some more of Shakespeare's wittiest repartees: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vdCjKH5IKJ8 What are you favourite insults, both Shakespearian and non-Shakespearian? Let us know in the comments!
