The Sex Lives of African Women: A Review

By Michelle Mojisola Savage

I was privileged to listen to Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah at the 2022 Ake Arts and Book Festival in a discussion titled ‘Does Africa need a sexual revolution?’ During the discourse, she posed a thought-provoking question to assess the state of Africa's sexual landscape: ‘Can a sex worker run for office?’ The ensuing silence in the hall was louder than the gasps and murmurs that the question was expected to elicit. African society was just not open to that type of vulgar talk, despite the continent boasting the world's highest birth rate and child marriages. It is this bold-faced pretentious attitude towards sex and sexuality that makes “The Sex Lives of African Women” such a commendable read. 

With over thirty essays about women aged twenty-one to seventy-one from thirty-one countries, the anthology covers a wide range of topics from FGM, sexual health, and sexual violence to the intersection of sexuality and race and the role of religion in shaping African women’s sexual identities. 

Organized into three sections - self-discovery, freedom, and healing - the book explores situations and problems black and African women face. One such story is that of Maureen, a twenty-nine-year-old heterosexual woman born in Cote d’Ivoire but raised in France, who shared the impact of racism on her self-worth and confidence. She said, “My friend coined this term - hetero decadence - it describes how black girls experience love in the European context. Of knowing that you are regarded as the bottom of the pyramid, and yet trying to navigate equality in your relationship with men.”

The book explores the multifaceted impact of religion on African women’s sexuality. For instance, Bibi, a Nigerian evangelical Christian, shares how the fear of becoming a ‘scarlet woman’ if she had sex before marriage prevented her from having sex until she was thirty-two. Other examples include the stories of Fatou, a polyamorous sixty-year-old Muslim woman from Senegal and how she navigated her sexuality while living in a conservative Muslim society, and Chantale, a Haitian woman who found strength in her sexuality through her ancestral religion, Vodou.

The anthology also addresses the widespread issue of sexual abuse and the methods that victims adopted to cope with the trauma.  The stories encourage survivors to seek help and employ resilience on their journey toward healing.

The journey toward discovering one’s sexual identity, however, is never easy, as it is often tied to the process of self-discovery. Many of the women featured in the book attest to that. 

Sekyiamah sheds light on the lives of African sex workers as they navigate their negatively depicted industry and also champions the freedom and choice of African women to experiment with monogamy and polyamory to find their right fit, as seen in the choice of Nura, a Kenyan woman who went head-first into a polygamous marriage. “I like that I don’t have to see my husband every day,” she admitted.

Overall, Sekyiamah created a masterpiece. The self-proclaimed sex evangelist’s mission to provide a platform for African women to share their stories and perspective on sexuality, which started with an award-winning blog she co-founded in 2009, Adventures from the Bedrooms of African Women, was taken to a higher level through the book. It is a great contribution to advancing the much-needed sexual revolution in Africa.

‘The Sex Lives of African Women’ is available to borrow from ZODML 196 Awolowo Road, Ikoyi.