The Tale of a 'Kopa' (Part III): Don't Get It Twisted by Morayo Oshodi

 "If Kopa marry Kopa they go born worwhor!" is a common cliché among Kopas. Although this suggests that Kopas getting married to one another is seen as disgusting, there are plenty of matrimonial cases among them - perhaps because of the rumour that the federal government gives N500,000 to those who get married during their service year, or because of love. Even if they don't end up marrying, many Kopas do date their fellow service members. But why do Kopas get into relationships with one another? Is it for the fun of it, the fund in it, or the future in it?
One year is indeed a long time for Kopas not to mingle with one another. Kopas tend to come into their service year with a fresh attitude regardless of their prior relationships, wealth and academic performances, and easily socialise with people from different backgrounds. While female Kopas tend to exercise caution for fear of being tagged as ‘easy,’ the male Kopa usually seizes any available chance they can get with a female Kopa (especially as dating indigenes can be rather tricky – but that’s a story for another time). I remember a good-looking Batch A Kopa called Sunday who was serving at my post and had less than two months left of his service year. He attracted all the female Kopas, myself included. But although Sunday was handsome, his personality did not quite match up. For a while, out of all the female Kopas, Sunday paid the most attention to me. He waited for me until I was finished teaching my students, and sometimes he would watch me teach, admiring my skills and encouraging me. He even used to follow me to the market! We became so close that some female Kopas became jealous. One Friday evening we took a walk to the most popular bar in the town. At this bar they sold fish pepper soup, goat meat and cowtail; they even sold amala (known as bataru in the Baatonu language spoken in Kwara) and pounded yam (also known as sokuru) with egusi soup! My regular meal was cold or solid pap wrapped in leaves, fish pepper soup and a bottle of Fayrouz (many a Kopa’s favourite soft drink). Sunday and I sat listening to music and watching other Kopas dancing. We talked about different things, such as the proposed change in name for UNILAG. Sunday said that it served us right, that all girls from UNILAG would be humbled when asked the name of our university and we had to respond "MAULAG". He also said MAU sounded like the Yoruba word for cow which is malu. Out of the blue, he then suddenly asked me to be his girlfriend, and offered to take me to meet his mother. I giggled, thinking our friendship was just two weeks old and that I barely knew him. I bluntly told him that I was not interested in dating and that we should remain good friends. After this incident, Sunday started avoiding me. A week later, I saw him with another female Kopa who happened to be an acquaintance of mine. This disgusted me; I thought, “How could Sunday do this to me?” We were friends, but he kept me at arm’s length. It was obvious that he was serious with this girl because she slept over at his apartment and vice versa. I befriended a female Kopa in his batch, and we began talking about Sunday. She was the first person I told that I really liked Sunday but wasn’t in a hurry for a relationship. She told me her side of the story: she too had fallen for Sunday when they first started NYSC, but he dumped her for some girl a batch ahead of them. However, that relationship was short-lived because the girl soon concluded her own service year and left Kwara. He then moved on to another female Kopa in another batch, who he eventually dumped for me (the newest batch). When our relationship was unsuccessful, he moved on to another girl. This was a trend among the Kopa guys serving in this town: when they left, they forgot about the girls they had gotten involved with. Some of them had girlfriends at home, some got married a month after service unexpectedly, and some travelled abroad for a master’s degree and never called or visited their “Kopa love.” Current and future Kopas, I advise that you enjoy NYSC and don’t take any love interest too seriously because after the fantasies of one year, people tend to forget about one another and face the realities of life after service. D’Banj said “Don’t get it twisted: love is a beautiful thing.” But if you get it “twisted,” it can be a worwhor thing. Read Parts I and II of Tale of a 'Kopa'.